Congress, It's Like The Smell Coming From The Garbage Can

in Congress

The Democrats in Congress and Obama are so intent on being right about health care that they got it passed even if it means many of them not being re-elected because of it. So, finally, at least some good might come of this.

Nancy Pelosi said recently about the health care bill, "We have to pass this bill so that you can find out what's in it." And Obama said the other day, "I haven't read the bill yet, but we need to pass it." This kind of makes you think Congress and Obama are like the Forrest Gumps of politicians saying, "Obamacare is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get."

When Nancy Pelosi became the Speaker of the House she said that this would be the most ethical Congress ever. But associating Congress with ethics is like associating Al Gore with charisma. There is actually an Ethics Committee in Congress and I'm assuming they are on the lookout for anyone there being ethical. So far they've found no one.

But a congressman trying to find ethics it's pretty much like a caveman trying to discover fire. It's something you've never seen before so you really don't know what it looks like. It compares to Tiger Wood discovering fidelity or Lady Gaga finding normalcy.

From many of the actions that Congress takes you'd think their collective IQs would have a hard time topping summer temperatures in Alaska. It makes you want to propose a reality show to the networks about Congress - Are You Smarter than Sandpaper? But the fact is that many of them are really intelligent people but when the mold was made for those people they forgot to provide space for that thing we talked about earlier in the article - ethics (but on Nancy Pelosi instead of ethics they put botox.)

Intelligence without ethics is how you get "brilliant" pieces of work like a stimulus package to spend your way of debt.

Let's just listen in on an interview with a Congressman that never made it to air (because the "ethics" committee wouldn't allow it):

Interviewer: What do you think is the biggest problem we face today, healthcare or unemployment?

Congressman: Neither one, it's being re-elected.

Interviewer: How is that a problem for the citizens of the United States?

Congressman: Oh, I didn't know we were talking about them. I thought we were talking about me. In that case I think the biggest problem is either steroid in sports or replacing the BCS system with a playoff in college football.

Interviewer: Why would those things be important to Congress?

Congressman: Well, first of all, Miss smarty pants interviewer, they are subjects where it makes Congress looks like we really care about something and so it makes us look good. And second it's something we can't really get in trouble for. Even though a lot of us take steroids and really, any type of drug you could imagine, legal or illegal, we aren't professional athletes, so it takes the limelight off of us and puts it somewhere else.

Interviewer: But how do those things fall under your jurisdiction?

Congressman: I guess you aren't listening. I already said it makes us look good and that is our biggest jurisdiction.

At that time a couple of Secret Service agent swept in and carted the interviewer off, never to be heard from again.

And with that said, it would be nice if we could just get rid of these guys by "unfriending" them in our Facebook accounts but at least we can vote them out in the next election.

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Steve Yeich has 1 articles online

Steve Yeich is a humor writer with over 25 years of experience. He has written jokes for numerous comedians who have performed on the Las Vegas strip, most notably Jay Leno and Joan Rivers. He has done various forms of script writing including for movies and TV. He has also written over 100 TV and radio commercials. To see more of his articles go to

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Congress, It's Like The Smell Coming From The Garbage Can

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This article was published on 2010/03/27